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5 Practical Exercises to Clarify and Strengthen Your Values

By Tracy Sabelle

October 1, 2024

We all have values, the beliefs and principles that guide us in life, but sometimes, they can feel blurry or difficult to articulate. Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, unsure which direction to take, or feeling conflicted about a decision? That inner conflict often comes from not being fully clear on what you value most. When your values are clear, decision-making becomes easier, and life feels more aligned. In this blog, our team at Therapy Brampton will share five practical exercises that can help you clarify and strengthen your values, ensuring that you live a life true to what matters most.

Exercise 1: Reflect on Peak and Low Moments

Think back to moments in your life when you felt truly proud, fulfilled, or at peace. These peak moments can provide insight into your core values. Now, contrast this with times when you felt deeply uncomfortable or upset. These low points often reflect when your values were being challenged or violated.

Example:

Imagine you’ve just wrapped up a long day at work. You feel exhausted, but there’s a glow inside you because you helped a coworker solve a major problem. You realize that collaboration and helping others might be important values for you. On the other hand, think about a time when you felt dismissed or disrespected in a conversation. This could indicate that respect and communication are values you hold dear.

Reflection Tip:

Journal about one high and one low moment. What made these experiences so powerful? What underlying values were at play?

Exercise 2: Identify Your Role Models

Think of people you admire, whether they’re friends, family members, public figures, or even characters in books and movies. What is it about them that inspires you? Oftentimes, the qualities we admire in others reflect the values we aspire to live by ourselves.

Example:

You might admire a friend who is always honest, no matter the situation. Their integrity may be something you value too. Or, maybe you look up to a public figure known for their generosity and activism. This could highlight that compassion and community are important to you.

Reflection Tip:

List three people you admire and write down the specific traits or actions that you respect in them. Then ask yourself: Do these traits reflect values that are important in my own life?

Exercise 3: The “What If” Scenario Game

To help clarify your values, try thinking through hypothetical “what if” scenarios. These situations are designed to push your boundaries and make you think about what truly matters to you.

Example:

Imagine you’re offered a high-paying job, but the company’s practices don’t align with your sense of ethics. Would you still take the job? This could reveal that ethical integrity is a core value for you. Or picture yourself having to choose between attending a family event and working on a career opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Which choice feels right? The answer might point to whether family or career is more important in your value system.

Reflection Tip:

Write out a few “what if” situations that could realistically happen in your life. As you work through them, notice what you prioritize in each scenario. This exercise will help you see patterns in your decision-making that reflect your values.

Exercise 4: The 80th Birthday Reflection

Project yourself into the future. Imagine it’s your 80th birthday, and your friends and family are gathered around to celebrate. They each take turns sharing what they admire most about you and how you’ve impacted their lives. What do you hope they say?

Example:

Perhaps you imagine your family talking about how present you always were, making time for them no matter what. This might highlight that relationships and family time are deeply rooted values for you. Or maybe you hope your colleagues say that you led with compassion and fairness, indicating that leadership and kindness are key values.

Reflection Tip:

Write down three things you hope people will say about you on your 80th birthday. These hopes are likely tied to your core values and can give you insight into how you want to live your life.

Exercise 5: Define and Prioritize Your Values

Once you’ve gathered insights from the previous exercises, it’s time to list and prioritize your values. Start by writing down 5-10 values that resonate most with you. Then, rank them in order of importance. This exercise helps you not only clarify your values but also recognize which ones you prioritize in different areas of life.

Example:

Maybe honesty, family, and personal growth are important to you, but in your current life, you’ve been prioritizing work over relationships. Seeing your values ranked in front of you may reveal that you need to make some adjustments. If family is ranked highest, perhaps setting boundaries at work to spend more time with loved ones becomes a priority.

Reflection Tip:

Once you have your top values, ask yourself how aligned your current life is with these priorities. If there’s a disconnect, what small changes can you make to live more in tune with your values?

Conclusion

Clarifying and strengthening your values is a powerful way to create a more intentional and fulfilling life. By doing these exercises, you’ll gain greater insight into what truly matters to you and be better equipped to make decisions that reflect your core beliefs. At Therapy Brampton, we’re here to help you navigate this journey of self-discovery. If you’re feeling unclear about your values or struggling to live in alignment with them, therapy can provide the guidance and support you need. Reach out to us today to start living a life that feels authentic and true to you.

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